I Can See by Emily Estes

In preparation to travel to Haiti I never imagined coming home would be one of the more difficult parts. While I can't speak for others, I can say that this was not just a trip to Haiti; it was a journey of transformation and faith. In conversations I've had since being home I've heard some interesting things - a frequent thing that comes up is that those who have read the blogs and looked at the pictures feel guilty for not being grateful for all that they have and for complaining about seemingly insignificant things. I've quickly realized that this was not just a journey that I traveled alone - it's a journey that, through words and images, others were able to join me on... in their own way. I realized that this experience is not one that will only change the lives of those who stepped foot in Haiti; it has the power to transform a person a million miles away.

I want to respond to the individuals who may feel guilt after witnessing the story of Haiti. I, nor anyone else who has traveled to Haiti or any place like it, don't have the power to judge whether you're being too ungrateful, whether you complain too much about those insignificant things, or how you live your life. I believe that any deep rooted emotion that stems from witnessing this journey is something between you and God. I've had to ask myself many questions because of this experience. What are my priorities in life? What do I take for granted? What is my purpose here? Am I living my life in a way that is pleasing to God? What can I change about me? Can I have an impact on those around me? Do others know I am a Christian through my words and actions?

If these are questions that are on your heart too, explore them! Please don't ignore them. This journey to Haiti does not have to be one that only changes the lives of those of us who went... if you're open to it, it can change yours as well. Listen to God through the emotional response you have to these stories and pictures. Maybe it will challenge you in how you live your life, in the things that frustrate you, in the things you worry about, in what you're grateful for... but maybe, just maybe, if you look a little deeper it will change you. Saying over and over that you feel guilty for one thing or another or that you take too much for granted is a vicious cycle. What about it brings up guilt? That is something you can change! What do you take for granted? That is something you can change!

The reality is that we live in a culture completely different than any other. It's ok. We have many things to embrace about our culture! We have freedoms that many others do not have. Rather than feel guilt because of it, perhaps we can ask what we could do to make a difference in the lives of those who don't share those same freedoms. Rather than simply acknowledging that we have much we take for granted, perhaps we could share a portion of all we've blessed with. Rather than feel something negative, perhaps we could do something positive. What do you say? Will you acknowledge that Haiti, though you may never have stepped foot there, has the power to change something in your life?

On the plane ride home I wrote a poem. It felt more like a song so I went to church yesterday and played around on the piano to find its melody. This is the song on my heart - I'm grateful for having my eyes open, my heart filled, and my life restored.

I Can See

I can see 

Through the beauty of the cross

I've been changed

For my God has rescued me

In a world far from home

He brought family to me

I've been restored

Through my faith in Christ

I Can See

Through the beauty of the cross

I've been changed

For my God has rescued me

He opened my eyes

He opened my heart

He let the tears fall

And a grace abound

I Can See

Through the beauty of the cross

I've been changed

For my God has rescued me

He spoke to me

In a foreign land

He held my hand

Through others hands

I Can See

Through the beauty of the cross

I've been changed

For my God has rescued me

He sat across from me

When I ate and drank

He walk with me

In a land of despair

I Can See

Through the beauty of the cross

I've been changed

For my God has rescued me

He showed me hope

Through broken eyes

He gave to me

The greatest gift

I Can See

Through the beauty of the cross

I've been changed

For my God has rescued me